good morning. i slept with my bracelets on and woke up the pain of them digging into my skin. theyre big silver twisty bangles made of up of the old bangles i had when i was a kid. i love these bracelets more than anything because theyre my moms. i made myself the owner a few years ago haha!
my sister curled my hair and i woke up w my hair still pretty decent. our hair is so opposite. her hair cant hold a curl to save her life and my hair does whatever i want it to.
so i was getting a boatload of followers recently and i couldnt figure out why. i looked @ their tumblr and couldnt find anything we shared in common! well i guess theres some link floating around that when you click it hacks into your tumblr and follows like any and everyone until youre at the max #. here i thought i might actually be interesting!!
i cant explain it. im not even sure why i keep trying. sometimes you crave the taste of someones skin, the warmth of their skin, their scent, their touch…crave it so much that you just lose the ability to reason.
thats what happens to me every single time i see him. i always feel im getting stronger, getting further away…im not. if anything im in deeper than i ever was before.
my lease expires sept.
my sisters moving back home july.
i thought i knew where id be moving to come sept but ive ran into a dilemma. or dilema? anyway, one of the people who id be living with has decided to act like a 12yr old girl which wouldnt be a problem if he wasnt like 24yrs old. he has some personal issue w my sister and even though it does not concern me, it does, simply bc she is my sister. i want her to comfortable visiting me and not worry about him, plus in the recent weeks ive become aware of how high the chances are that him and i will undoubtedly bump heads.
then theres the pasadena job. its SO far. i need a change and it seems ideal aside from the distance. what if i stay in sb until my probationary period is over, then move closer? the more trouble i am having finding a job the more i want to pursue my masters.
i am an emotional person. anyone who knows me knows that. BUT i am also private.
i will ask you a billion questions about yourself, and i keep asking as to not give you a chance to to ask me. thats just how i work. ill deal with everyone elses emotions but my own
my little text me asking if id go on a double date with her. this guy, i know she REALLY likes him so of course i said yes.
but i know its a bad idea. i just feel it. this is going to be like disaster date status. she asked if she could give my # to her guys friend last week i said no, mainly bc i dont know him and i hate talking on the phone.blah.
i was gonna post the marshmellow video but my mom said its too gross when i spit them out…i agree!
spent yesterday as a fish. went swimming in newport, the waves were nice but i got man handled by a few gnarly ones! then went to my apt and swam some more. now i am the color of a lobster but of course this excludes my legs. they never tan! :(
fri im going to the tim burton exhibit w kat and waldo! sat going to dockweiler to spend the day with my nephew on his very first beach trip! then hopefully to riverside to see nylles dj his friends party.
today is Lizs viewing and rosary. tomorrow is the funeral. im taking half the day off so i can attend. tomorrow is also her 21st birthday. i love her so much and i miss her but i know she doesnt want to see us crying so i have been trying my hardest to enjoy my days and smile as much as i can.
my parents had me @ 18, my mom actually graduated HS while pregnant with me. my dad went to the military (Marines). he wasnt able to be there for my birth and i have no real memory of him until about 4yrs old which is him watching nightmare on elm street and me sneaking behind the sofa to watch it. for a long time it was just my mom and I. she worked 2 jobs to provide for me which meant i spent a lot of time at my Tias house. when my dad finally was discharged, it took some time for me to get used to him. although i was just a kid and didnt know any better i still feel really bad for saying he wasnt my dad. i would tell my mom “why is the stranger in the house” i cant even imagine how that hurt him. overtime we started to build a relationship. we are alike in many ways and one of the worst is our irrational reactions to things. we got into it so much as i was growing up.
but now as an adult i can really appreciate him and all he did for my sisters and I. yes sometimes we still have a disagreement or 2 but who doesnt?
i have so many friends who lost their fathers or never had one and i just feel so blessed to have mine. he pushes me to do better and encourages me when i need it the most.
ive been at my parents house for under an hour and i have laughed crazy hard!
my little sister who was all punk is now over here rapping mac miller i asked when did u get all hiphop? she looks @ me so serious and says “i been hiphop in my heart!”
then they bet me i cant fit 4 marshmellows in my mouth im like ya i can! then my mom pulls out a bag of huge marshmellows. my mom tells my sis to record, i only got 3 in til i spit them all up and chased my mom with it.
oh and its 100 degrees and the sun already went down!
“I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and… I believe in miracles.”—Audrey Hepburn (via chanelcouturex)