I’LL PAINT YOUR MOODS IN SHADES OF BLUE. I’LL PAINT MY SOUL TO BE WITH YOU. I’LL SKETCH YOUR LIPS IN SHADED TONES. DRAW YOUR MOUTH TO MATCH MY OWN. I’LL DRAW YOUR ARMS AROUND MY WAIST. AND THEN ALL DOUBT I SHALL ERASE. I’LL PAINT THE RAIN THAT SOFTLY LANDS I’LL TRACE MY HAND UPON YOUR HAND A…
I love that song. That’s a I’m a bitter woman type of song. Marsha ambrosious is my girl. So yesterday I decide to walk away from him and everything between us. I felt unappreciated and very neglected and so I walked away. As hard as it was for me to do so because I kept thinking of what we were and what we could be but I had to leave. Why the hell the moment I leave he wants to be perfect? Too bad I already know him.
I give and I give and I give
. I’ve given all I can but I never thought id be so empty because you were supposed to giving too, filling me up the way I filled you. But no I am empty. I am sad and I am alone. Not because I want to be, but because you’re too blind to see I would’ve done anything for you as long as my heart continued to lay protected in your hands. Giving you the breathe to say those 3 words, I love you, was a mistake. Love can be tricky and many things can disguise themselves as love. I am your fool no longer. So when you try to hold me again you will know I’m no longer giving
I haven’t met you yet, but I’ve been waiting for you since the day I watched a Disney movie. I don’t know what you look like, or if you’re scared, but I just want to tell you that it’s alright. I’ll love you as long as you love me too. I stare at the blur of faces which pass me by and hope that…
I’m on my way back to san bernardino from Brawley right now. My kid sister asleep in the backseat and the other one driving. Since I moved away from home when I was 18 my sisters have always spent a couple/few days with me in the summer. This year its 2weeks and although I could tell my mom didn’t want to let her go I didn’t want her to be stuck there either. The way my parents are now is horrible and I don’t want her to be in the middle of that all alone. They’re not happy at all and in 2days I saw my mom cry more than I should have. I have tried to explain to her that they’re not doing us a favor by not seperating. They’ve already seperated emotionally and that’s worse than a physical/legal seperation. And then there’s my dad. I love him and appreciate all he has done and will do for me. But at the same time I have a small piece of me that just despises what he did. Its because of choices he made that we are how we are. My nana always told me the key to a happy marriage is to never marry. I think she’s right.
he takes me to my highest of highs, where I just want to be all about him, where I want to write again, I want to everyone to be happy I just want to enjoy life…then he takes me to my lowest of lows where I just cant crack a smile. I wish so much that I could just find a baseline.
It’s easy for me to blame things on him but at the same time I know a lot of my issues stem from my own insecurities but at least I am able to admit that now right?
When we are together I forget how I felt upset or angry with him because i just want to enjoy US. right now LIFE is not helping us. I havent seen him in 14 days. this is the longest we have gone without seenig eachother. Yes we are talking all the time but it’s not the same and I have been so busy and he is so busy it’s just stupid.
Things need to change on their own or I need to start making decisions. I don’t like being like this anymore
My youngest sister is really growing up. I try hard to maintain a strong relationship w her and really encourage her to be true to herself and not give in to what’s “cool” once she told me all her friends have cut themselves and that really alarmed me. Luckily she’s smart enough not to do it. She also respects herself and her body. She dressed like a 13yr old should not like a prostitute like some of these kids. Idk where society went wrong that females feel that dressing like a sex worker is ok and even worse that parents provide these clothes.